Analyze the Situation, not the Backstabber

This is a really really nice article about Office Backstabbing, written by Jane Chin. Don't know her but she writes good stuff I tell you. Everything about love, relationships, and office situations. This is one of her articles I happened to stumbled upon while surfing the net. Check out her website: http://www.officedysfunction.com

Analyze the Situation, not the Backstabber

by Jane Chin
September 2, 2007

You have been backstabbed, and you are livid.

Before you light up that effigy in the likeness of your backstabbing colleague or worse, run off to tell the boss, or worse yet, run off to gossip to someone else in the
office about what just happened, you analyze the situation leading up to this incident.

This is critical to understand, so I’ll repeat:
Analyze the situation.
DO NOT analyze a backstabber’s psychology.

99% of the time, people who believe they are victims of backstabbing immediately go into backstabber psychological analysis. We try to figure out “why” a backstabber did what a backstabber did - and did to Us! We may feel compelled to get into backstabbing psychology because we believed that if we understood how a backstabber’s mind worked, we could prevent a future backstabbing. We may also invest in deep psychological analysis because we (subconsciously) wish to shift blame from self (”Why did I let this happen to me? How can I not see this coming?”) to the backstabber, this required us to identify some faulty mechanics of a backstabber?s mind.

(Please continue reading at http://www.officedysfunction.com/analyze-the-situation-not-the-backstabber)

A Guide to Surviving Workplace Backstabbers

A Guide to Surviving Workplace Backstabbers By Marla Matzer

Distributed by Los Angeles Times Syndicate

"They smile in your face, all the time they wanna take your place," the O'Jays once sang.  Backstabbers– every office or workplace seems to have them.  As a co-worker, what can you do about them?   Total avoidance is often impractical, and just because you're not where they can see you doesn't  mean you won't end up with a shiv between the shoulder blades.  Its the nature of backstabbers, after all, to act when you're not around to defend yourself. 

Backstabbing takes many forms passing misinformation; withholding useful information; spreading  damaging rumors.  All have the same intent — clearing a path for the stabber to claw his way to the top.  Business books for those seeking win-at-any-cost tips even recommend some of these Machiavellian methods as ways to get ahead.  Why? There is a widespread perception that such efforts will be rewarded by higher-ups. You combine scarce resources and weak people, and you get this reaction, said Karen Stephenson, a professor of management at UCLA's Anderson School.  Added Stephenson, " It tends to happen in organizations with limited or no accountability, regardless of the size or type of company."

Stephenson and a counterpart at USC's business school m=name academia — despite its high minded reputation — as a particular stronghold of politics and backstabbing.  "Where there are fewer crumbs, you often get more fighting over them," said Laree Kiely, associate professor of clinical business at USC's Marshall School of Business.  When dealing with a backstabber, your only options are groveling or open-trench warfare, right? Not necessarily.  Firm but polite confrontation is better strategy if handled correctly, say some experts.  Kiely cautions against getting sucked into the would-be backstabbers game by becoming too emotional.

For example, Company X used a computer network that allowed workers to view others' works-in-progress, and also allowed employees to see who was viewing files in the shared system.  Seeing that a potential rival was viewing one of her files one day, "Louise" stormed down the hall and confronted "Sally." "Can I help you Sally? Louise inquired, angrily and loudly.  The confrontation had the immediate effect of making Sally stop viewing Louise's file.  "I always recommend that people take the high road — it takes tow to play this game" Kiely said.  "Taking the high road pays off most of the time in the short run, and almost all of the time in the long run."

A student of Kiely's once came to her and asked how to handle a situation where someone was clearly out to undermine him.  The student had taken a leave from his job and his employer had brought in a temporary replacement who proceeded to bad-mouth him to all who would listen.  Co-workers sympathetic to their erstwhile colleague told him what was happening, at which point he went to Kiely for advice.  Kiely asked him if he had done anything to worry about.  "When he told me no," I told him, "Just go back and let it ride  About three months later, Kiely got a call from her former student. "He said: 'You were right.  They fired that guy,'" Kiely recalled.  Here are a few other tips for managing office politics:

Kimi is Number 1

 After years of heartbreaking runner up finishes, Kimi Raikkonen is Formula One's World Champion.

Coming to the last leg of the F1 World Championships in Interlagos at third behind McLaren's Lewis Hamilton and 2006 World Champion Fernando Alonso in the Drivers Championships, Kimi Raikkonen roared to lead Scuderia Ferrari in a 1-2 finish grabbing the Formula One World Drivers Championship and  the Constructor's Championship. Ferrari's team strategy proved to be overwhelming against closest rival McLaren, who this year found themselves in a deep mire of design spying and intra-team struggles with Alonso.

Meanwhile plot thickens as McLaren is bent on appealing a case to the FIA to null Kimi's Championship pending investigation on the illegal fuel temperature of BMW Sauber and Williams on race day. If favored then Hamilton will take the Championship. However the 22 year old rookie has said he would not like the idea of having the championship on a technicality, adding more that he wants to do it on the track.

This will be the first Ferrari Championship after the era of Michael Schumacher. (Photos from www.planet-f1.com and www.chroniclejournal.com)

Another Saturday

A sweet antcipation brewing here in my desk…

Will it be a monster traffic again going to Alabang? Last week was semi-nightmare going home to Batangas. I was with the One (she actually fetched me after yours truly got his ATM demagnetized and therefore pesos-less during the weekends, total bummer). After braving the traffic from Las Piñas to Alabang were we surprised to see the bus terminals all closed (why Mr. Mayor St. Peter?? Why??). We had to walk from the terminal near the public market to catch a bus but they won’t stop (omg…). So we asked a traffic aide where are the bus terminals:

“ ah wala ng tirminal ngayon ng bus.”

“eh saan na po sakayan?”

“abang na lang kayo jan sa daanan.”

“ah ok, thanks”

“bawal pala jan, dun kayo sa mitropulis, alam mo ba yung mitropulis?”

At that point my steam lost its heat as me and the One nearly laugh at him. He’s the traffic aide so he should know. Anyway with the ongoing SLEX construction projects yet unfinished it’s really an inopportune time to close the terminals. Or they could have prepared earlier allotting a temporary bus terminal and placing large signs for the commuters’ information.

I hope that Mayor lose in the next elections, hahaha!

~  *  ~  *  ~  *  ~  *  ~

Tomorrow is the last leg of the Formula 1 World Championships! This will be the second time I’ll be watching the races this season. Poor me I should get a TV and Cable next year (hmmm, should be first on my New Year’s Resolutions…)

The Man Rules

I really had a good laugh about this!  (http://mistupid.com/people/page026.htm)

THE MAN RULES
At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down…

Man's Rules for Women